Hi there! My name is Ashley and you can find me over at Tales of Mommyhood! I am a mom of 2 boys, and that brings lots of chaos to my daily life! Between school drop offs, nap timing and everything else in between there isn’t a lot of time left over.
Amanda was kind enough to let me stop in at Multi-Testing Mommy today – so I would like to thank her for that!
When I was pregnant with my oldest, we decided to keep the sex a secret. Not any real reason behind it other than I didn’t want to know and hubby did – so it was a compromise. We told everyone that the baby didn’t co-operate at our u/s and it was actually pretty easy to keep up the ruse. I had always wanted a yellow nursery, and any clothes we bought were hidden away.
When we decided to have a 2nd, we knew we would keep the sex a secret again – but this time it would be a tad more difficult as our friends and family knew what we had done with our first -and yes, people did try to trick us into telling them. I wasn’t quite as good this time, and slipped up on more than one occasion. Some people caught on, and others did not.
However, because people didn’t know – I kept getting asked if I was hoping for a girl. That never really entered my mind – I wanted a baby, healthy and happy and that was all I cared about. It didn’t matter to me if the baby was a boy or a girl – I think there are advantages and disadvantages to both – and you really don’t get a choice anyhow.
After our 2nd son was born – hubby and I have had lots of people asking us when we are going to have #3 to go for a girl – which again, I don’t understand. Why do I have to have a girl? Why does it matter if I have 2 boys, and why would people think I would be disappointed in the 2 beautiful, healthy boys I do have? I love that my boys are the typical, rough and tumble little boys that they are. They climb everything, they attack me as soon as I get on the floor and I cannot count the number of times that I have ended up with bruises all over my body because one of them has literally thrown themselves at me. Yes, I know I am in for a lifetime of the toilet seat being left up (although, by potty training them to SIT DOWN I may have avoided this for a little while!) noise, smells and who knows what else is in our future. But one thing I do know – they are mama’s boys. They love their mama, they give me cuddles and hugs and come to me when they are hurt – and that makes my heart swell!
If (and there is much debate over this in our house) we do decide to have a 3rd it isn’t going to be for a girl. It will be because we want to bring another child into our lives to love and cherish, and add to our family.
I know that there are people out there that do suffer from gender disappointment (which I will never be able to wrap my head around, no matter how many times I hear about it – I honestly cannot fathom how someone can be disappointed by the sex of their child).
I also know that families with girls get the same question but about boys. A little tip people – when it comes to other people’s children – it is NONE of your business. And yes, there are people out there that are happy to have all of 1 sex. There are many pluses to the situation:
– they can be the best of friends and worst of enemies and it can change in exactly 1 second.
– you can re-use the majority of clothes from your first to your second (unless of course they are worn out which is pretty typical for my boys)
– toys can pretty much get passed on (although with young kids, they don’t seem to care if they are playing with a truck or a doll/stroller – it’s all about play at this age, not gender stereotypes)
So please, if anything, after reading this – don’t comment on whether or not someone is happy or sad with the sex of their child – cause really, it’s not something you can change anyways.
There’s nothing like having a healthy family. I love the fact that I have a boy and a girl to balance out the chaos at home.
Had my children been 2 boys/girls, I probably would have stopped because 2 was my limit.
200% agree. I just wrote about this too! I hate the “are you going to try for a girl?” comment. Grr. I didn’t “try” for anything – I just was blessed to have kids! Healthy and happy ones. That’s all I’ve ever wanted! Sigh. Crazy people.
I completely agree with you. It doesn’t matter what the sex is. I’ve always been one to just wanting to be blessed with a healthy baby because in the end, that’s all that really matters.
thanks for the comments! Healthy baby was the biggest thing on my mind during pregnancy. My first pregnancy ended in m/c, and my oldest son was in the NICU for 10 days (he was early and had lung issues)
I have 2 girls and I get asked that often! I wonder if I had a boy and a girl if they would say, “Perfect, a boy and a girl! Are you done now?” Lawd! People don’t think before they talk!
When I first got pregnant I did want a girl. We were not able to find out the sex here (they wouldn’t allow it) so it was a nice surprise when it was a boy. All that mattered was that he was healthy. We found out the sex with our second by going to the city to find out. Another boy! It’s in my husband’s family genes.
I couldn’t imagine life without my boys. It was so funny because I was so scared in the beginning to have a boy. But I love my boys to pieces. I would like to try for a girl but I am sure it would be another boy. LOL!
When I had my first child in the 80’s there wasnt the option of knowing the sex. I was thrilled with my girl.
Then 15 years later and pregnant, I did want to know the sex…but my area had a policy of not telling you – possible terminations based on sex. I was blessed with a boy but either way my ‘oven’ was then permanently shut down!
We never worried about the sex of child. U/S weren’t as great at predicting anyway and I just wanted to have children. No matter which to me.
I lied through my teeth with my first child. Rather then having to justify to people why I didn’t want to tell them if I was having a girl or a boy, I told them that the baby was a very wiggly little bean, and so the ultrasound tech wasn’t able to tell us the gender.
I have had total strangers snap at me and say “And don’t give me that crap about wanting a healthy baby, what do you really want?” Um. Excuse me, what I really want is a healthy baby.
Having a daughter the first time people almost immediately started asking if we would “try again for a boy”. And of course once we had a second girl, well I had people say “Oh we’re so sorry. Too bad you didn’t get a boy this time.” Like there’s something wrong with girls? What the heck, is this the middle ages?
Ops, sorry, didn’t mean to get so snappy but you hit an issue that really peeves the heck out of me.
Deanna – I am right there with you, so don’t worry about being snappy!
I have three girls and one boy not in that order and we chose not to find out for any of them. It was not something that was important to us. I loved each birth, waiting to hear the first cry and the news of what we were blessed with.
My belief is that we know so much already in this world of advanced technology, why the need to know something that is so timeless.
Since the beginning of time women never really had the chance to know what they were having. I wanted to be part of that, and have no regrets.
A healthy baby is what was important for us.